nicole kidman | Binky's Alternate Reality

Now that you’ve all seen The Golden Globes and read the highlights, it’s time for us to focus on what really matters: the red carpet fashion. This is what award season is all about, people, indulging on our favorite pastime of drinking wine and judging people. And by people, I mean unsuspecting celebrities walking the red carpet and hoping against all hopes that Joan Rivers will not tear them a new one the next day.

Since the Golden Globes is where movie and TV stars collide, there were a LOT of looks and red carpet photos to sort through before I could make my choices on Best and Worst Dressed of the night. I’m bound to miss a few amazing or atrocious looks, so please understand that I’m doing the best I can. 🙂 With that in mind, let’s get straight to the celebs, shall we?

The Beautiful:

Hailee Steinfeld

She’s only fourteen but my god, she’s stunning! I don’t really know who she was wearing, but I have to give her stylist props for remembering that she is fourteen. That beautiful white halter dress is very age-appropriate, and her minimal make up is fresh and youthful.

Dianna Agron in J. Mendel and Cathy Waterman Jewelries

This Glee star gets it right all the time. She wowed us all with her Carolina Herrera gown at the Emmys, and now in this blush J.Mendel she just looks so ethereal and beautiful. The Cathy Waterman necklace around her neck adds a touch of old Hollywood glamor, and overall she just looks like a breathtaking porcelain doll.

Natalie Portman in Viktor & Rolf

I think this woman is probably the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth. She’s pregnant right now but looks as slim as she did in Black Swan. I hate her. 🙂 The pink Viktor & Rolf dress looks perfect, and I love the rose accents and strawberry-colored clutch.

Heather Morris in Lorena Sarbu

When I saw her walking down the red carpet, I was blown away by little miss Brittany S. Pierce. Wow, she looks amazing. Love that sparkly, champagne-colored dress, love her hair and make up and most of all, love her attitude. Work it, girl!

Mila Kunis in Vera Wang

Somewhere in Los Angeles, Macaulay Culkin is weeping. His former lady love looks absolutely stunning in this emerald Vera Wang gown, bringing just enough drama and class to turn everyone’s heads. Hell, even the guy behind her is checking her out.

Sofia Vergara in Vera Wang

Wearing this year’s IT color “honeysuckle pink”, this Modern Family star looks absolutely muy caliente on the red carpet, prompting Kelly Osbourne to gush as she watches her from E’s Glam Cam 360. She may lost the Globes to Jane Lynch, but she’s a big winner on the carpet for sure.

Nicole Kidman in Prada

New York’s Magazine Fug Girls may think this cream Prada gown is boring, but in my opinion Nicole Kidman looks fantastic. She definitely has the body to carry off such a sleek, beautiful dress, and even though she towers over her husband Keith Urban, she still looks incredible as she poses for the cameras.

Best Dressed of The Night:

Olivia Wilde in Marchesa

My pick for Best Dressed Celeb of 2010, Olivia Wilde is definitely on her way to becoming the best dressed celeb of 2011 in this dramatic and fabulous Marchesa gown. I usually don’t like elaborate dresses, but man, she can carry it off. She even jokes that she can eat a cheeseburger in that thing. Too bad she doesn’t eat meat, though.

The Bold (Okay, Mostly Bad):

Lea Michele in Oscar de la Renta and Lorraine Schwartz jewelries

InStyle Magazine loves this look a lot, but for some reason this Glee star reminds me of a cupcake in that giant ruffly Oscar De La Renta gown. It’s just a little too much. Sorry, Lea.

January Jones in Versace

She is the face of Versace this year, so I get that she has to wear a Versace gown, but I’m so not sure about this “bondage” dress. Her boobs just look tortured, and not in a good way (is there a good way for boobs to look tortured?). Oh Miss Jones. First there was that polarizing cone bra mullet dress at last year’s Emmy. Now this. I’m thinking you and Versace don’t get along as well as you think you do.

Emma Stone in Calvin Klein and Van Cleef & Arpels and Bvlgari jewelries

Nylon Magazine LOVES this look and thinks that Emma Stone is the best dressed of the night, but I beg to differ. Anybody else thinks she looks like a piece of fruit in that sherbet-colored Calvin Klein dress? She does have the body for it but man, that color with her newly blond hair just don’t work. She has to stay blond for Spider-Man, but I’m thinking she can chuck the dress and swear never to go down that path again. I still love her though.

Julianne Moore

Julianne Moore’s dress is so wacky, even InStyle doesn’t want to admit she was ever on that red carpet. So far I haven’t gotten a clue as to who actually designed that pink insanity, but when I have more info I’ll definitely update this post. But I mean, really, do we need to explain further why this dress is atrocious? Gotta love Moore though, she really knows how to bring the crazy.

Heidi Klum

Yes, Heidi, we get that the 70s is making a comeback, but are you kidding me, woman? That dress, the bow thing in the middle, the stack of bangles (best jewelries, InStyle? Really?), the thigh-high slit… I’m sorry, but no. Just no.

Jennifer Lopez in Zuhair Murad and Harry Winston Jewelries

I’m going to let New York Magazine’s Fug Girls to describe this dress to you: “J. Lo appears to be wearing a cape made of a bridal veil” and my favorite: “She is wearing a glittery, see-through poncho, you guys. A PONCHO. It is crazy unflattering and also just plain old crazy.” Couldn’t have said it better myself. (Actually, I tweeted: blech, J-Lo’s dress, so I know I didn’t say it better).

Tilda Swinton

If some other actress wore this to the red carpet, I’d probably be absolutely hating it. But it’s Tilda Swinton and this is actually right up her alley. It kind of what makes me love her. I’m still not sure if that’s an oxford shirt tucked in a skirt or an actual dress, or really who made the whole thing for her but it’s all so very Tilda, and you gotta love her for always bringing the crazy and unexpected.

Christina Hendricks in Romona Keveza and Chopard jewelries

Oh Joan. You know I love you and hate doing this to you, but seriously, girl, you need to tone it down a little when on the red carpet. The red dress, the giant flower right by your face, along with your boobs and voluminous red hair… well it’s just all a little bit too much. Sorry, darling.

Jane Fonda in George Hobeika

I know shoulder pads are totally in right now, but this dress just looks so Star Trek-y to me that I don’t think it suits Ms Fonda very well. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t suit anyone very well, unless it’s Zoe Saldana, as she walks the carpet in character as Uhura, Spock’s girlfriend. Is George Hobeika just an alias for George Takei?

Worst Dressed of The Night:

Halle Berry in Nina Ricci and Harry Winston Jewelries

New York Magazine’s Fug Girls once again nailed it on the head when they described Ms Berry’s look as: “From the neck up, she looks amazing. From the neck down, she looks like the rest of her dress got mauled off by a bear.” Amen to that. Halle Berry, what were you thinking? This is worse than when you showed up on the red carpet wearing a bikini top. I mean, people were whistling at you on the red carpet, and we fear it might have been sarcastic. No, darling. You are way too beautiful and elegant to show up at an event like this in your underwear. Please don’t do this to us.

The Bizarre:

Helena Bonham Carter in Vivienne Westwood

There were plenty of crazies on the Globes red carpet, but Helena Bonham Carter is definitely the reigning queen of whack last night. Where to begin? Everything about her look was purposely wacky, from the crazy hair to those two different shoes. God bless her. She makes the red carpet so much fun to watch. No wonder Tim Burton is “the father of her bastards” (her words, not mine), she definitely looks like a character in his movies (which, incidentally, she always is).

The Boys:

Armie Hammer

Could this man be any more gorgeous? I mean, my god, WOW. Hello, lover.

Kevin McHale

We love a guy who is not afraid to wear studded tuxedo. You go, Artie!

Matthew Bomer

I know people are still speculating about his sexuality, but I hope he’s straight. I want to have a chance with him.

Andrew Garfield

Oh, Andrew Garfield. I wish you were my very own friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. I want to step into your web.

Harry Shum, Jr.

The Glee Guys were totally bringing it at the Globes. We already know what great abs Other Asian aka Harry Shum, Jr has underneath that fabulous checked shirt…