Ten Hottest Men of Summer 2011

It’s the first week of September, and you know what it means. Summer is winding down and we have to say goodbye to our favorite Summer shows and get ready to indulge on all that Fall television has to offer. But before we bid adieu to Summer I think we should show our appreciation to the men responsible making our Summer even hotter. 🙂 After all, without them, these last three months would be a little unbearable, wouldn’t it? No? It’s just me?

Well in any case, I want to do what I do best – objectifying men in a fun way – and I hope you’ll indulge me. 🙂 These men will be taking a break from our TV screens and I want to remember them fondly until they return to get us all hot and bothered again soon. This Summer we don’t get to bask in Don Draper’s glory or laugh our asses at from Shawn Spencer’s antics but I think the sight of Alexander Skarsgard’s perfect behind should make up for the absence of the Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce men or everyone’s favorite faux-psychic/real detective, right? So without further ado, let me present to you the Ten Hottest Men of Summer for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

1/ Alexander Skarsgard, True Blood

Sure, we may not like Emo Eric that much this season. Sure, the sex scenes with Sookie were actually kind of a snoozefest by True Blood standards, but there is no denying that the sight of Alexander Skarsgard naked pretty much made up for all the disappointing moments of season 4. The recapper for NY Magazine’s Vulture blog even called Skarsgard’s incredible derriere “the golden orbs” and yes, we would like to see more of those, please, much more than we would like to see… uhm well, everything else. His 1,000-year-old viking vampire character may not have the best luck this season, what with the whole memory wipe and being controlled by a witch, but I’m guessing each and every one of us would give anything to get lucky with him. Am I right, ladies (and gents)?  🙂

2/ Matt Bomer, White Collar

This sleek con artist may not have fangs and immortality, but his sly smile, hypnotizing blue eyes and beautiful body pretty much make up for his lack of supernatural abilities. And unlike Eric Northman who spends most of his days in gym shorts, Matt Bomer’s character Neal Caffrey dazzles us with his sexy skinny suits and fedoras. If we bump into him on the streets of NYC, we may actually let him con us just so we get more than five minutes alone with him, that’s how fabulous this man is. And now that we know White Collar has been renewed for a fourth season, we’re just so glad that we get to see more of Matt Bomer… Hopefully shirtless. All the time. It is a Summer show after all.

3/ Gabriel Macht, Suits

Speaking of men who look good in suits, this newbie to Summer television doesn’t waste time stealing our hearts when he took on the role of fast-talking, ambitious lawyer Harvey Specter in USA Network’s new hot Summer show Suits. Despite being a Summer TV newbie, this versatile actor has been the token cool guy in a lot of movies, and he has even played a superhero once. I feel a little guilty lusting over him since he’s Jacinda Barrett’s husband and baby daddy, but it’s his own fault for being so dreamy, right? And besides his character Harvey Specter is not only single but very, very willing. So yeah, let’s just compartmentalize the whole wife and kid thing for our viewing pleasure.

Follow him on Twitter: @GabrielMacht

4/ Jeffrey Donovan, Burn Notice

Just like Skarsgard, Mr Donovan has been in so many of my “hot guys” list I think I’ve lost count. But even though he has made multiple appearances in my various Top Ten lists, he definitely deserves to be in this one because he truly did make our summer a little hotter, and not just because his character Michael Westen is still a burned CIA spy. This guy kicks ass, but loves his mother. He blows shit up, but breaks down and cries every now and then. He’s tough but sensitive. In short, he’s pretty much the perfect man. And I’m willing to fight his ex-IRA badass girlfriend Fiona if it means I get a chance to spend one night with him. PS: That rustling sound in the background is the sound of Jeffrey Donovan’s lawyer filing a restraining order against me. 🙂

Follow him on Twitter: @Jeffrey_Donovan

5/ Luke Mably, Combat Hospital

Last Summer, he sank our fangs into our fangirl hearts when he starred in ABC’s failed supernatural series The Gates as Dylan Radcliffe, one-half of the vampire power couple residing in a seemingly idyllic gated neighborhood. This Summer, he braves the desert sun and trades in his fangs for a scalpel in ABC’s Combat Hospital as Dr. Simon Hill, neurosurgeon extraordinaire, and Kandahar’s resident bad boy with a dark secret (no, he’s not secretly a vampire, that’s a different show). Whatever the role, I just hope that we get to have him every Summer, wooing us with his British accent, piercing blue eyes and oh-so-cool demeanor. Because he definitely makes the sweltering heat bearable.

Follow him on Twitter: @lukemably

6/ Ryan Kwanten, True Blood

I had actually sort of met the #6 hottie in person when I lived in Sydney a million years ago, but back then he was just a star of the popular Australian soap opera Home and Away, and I was too much of a snob to go ga-ga over a soap star. Now I’m totally regretting my snootiness, as you can imagine. He has gone from cheesy Australian soap star to certified hunky leading man and now every woman and supernatural being from here to Bon Temps wants a piece of him. Even though his character got the raw end of the deal in the beginning of this season, we still got to enjoy his perfect abs and beautiful body… And that’s totally fine by me.

7/ Patrick J. Adams, Suits

Gabriel Macht isn’t the only lawyer I wish were representing me this Summer, his young associate Patrick J. Adams totally steals the show and he’s not even a real lawyer. Who knew hearing this man recite legal documents word per word verbatim would get our senses all tingly? 🙂 Troian Bellisario’s main squeeze may not have eidetic memory unlike his alter ego Mike Ross, but he is a talented photographer in addition to being a gorgeous man and brilliant actor. Now I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one willing to spend my nights with him reciting the penal code? (Sorry Troian, I love you and all but your man is just too hot!) 😉

Follow him on Twitter: @halfadams

8/ Niall Matter, Eureka

When SyFy announced that this charming little show was canceled, I was so disappointed I nearly shed a tear. This show is so cute, funny, tongue-in-cheek and smart, and it’s such a shame that it has to end after its fifth season. And one of the reasons why Eureka is so much fun to watch is the hottest geek in the history of television, Zane Donovan, played by our #8 hunk Niall Matter. You see, most guys who look like that, with a body that sends your mind straight to the gutter, don’t usually have genius IQ. But in Eureka, it’s different. A genius hacker/inventor/scientist can have a face that launches a thousand fantasies and a body that makes you want to rip his clothes off. It’s a shame that we’re not going to see this hunky scientist after the fifth season, so let’s make the best of what little time we have left with him, shall we?

Follow him on Twitter: @NiallMatter

9/ Justin Kirk, Weeds

Just to clarify, I too think that Weeds have jumped the shark about three seasons ago and it is no longer the smart, ironic show that it used to be. However, I can’t stop watching it either, and it’s all because of our #9 guy. Justin Kirk or Uncle Andy is the reason why I chose to stay with The Botwins for better or for worse, because let’s face it, you want to commit to a guy like him. He’s beautiful, he’s funny, he’s got those soulful eyes that will just hypnotize you into doing just about anything for him, including continuing to watch a show that should’ve been canceled years ago. And for that reason alone I think I should award him the #9 spot.

10/ David Paetkau, Flashpoint

I just realized that there are at least three Canadians in this list alone, hmm maybe I should move up north, maybe that’s where all the hot guys are. 🙂 Anyway, the last guy in our list is already married but I’m not going to let that stop me, especially since he plays the hottest SWAT guy in North America right now. As Sam Braddock sniper extraordinaire in Flashpoint, just his mere presence carrying a sniper rifle around can spark all sorts of uniform fetish. But really, it’s not the uniform, it’s the man: who’s gorgeous, tough and sweet all at the same time. Who wouldn’t want a guy like that to come to the rescue?

And there you have it, the Ten Hottest Men of Summer 2011. I hope you’ve enjoyed their company these past three months as much as I have. Now it’s time to take off our sunglasses, put on our beret and get ready to welcome Fall TV. Don’t worry, there’ll be plenty more hot guys to warm your nights… And I’m sure I’ll be making a list just for them in the near future.

Till Next Time,

Binky Bee

A Guide To Recognizing Your Vampires

When Buffy The Vampire Slayer premiered on the WB in 1997, our love affair with vampires were reignited and for a few years, most notably after Angel’s exit to star in his own spin-off series, we were torn between Team Angel and Team Spike. Just so you know, I’m on Team Spike. Buffy and Spike FTW. 🙂

But then Buffy was canceled in 2003 and about a year later, its spin-off Angel followed suit. And our love affair with these nocturnal, bloodsucking creatures slowly fizzled and replaced by the non-supernaturals like surgeons and crime scene investigators. However, somewhere deep inside of our hearts, we still kept a candle burning for men (and women) with fangs… and hoped that one day, they would make a comeback.

Luckily for our fang-bangin’ hearts, they did make a comeback. Oh did they ever! Thanks to Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series, the vampires returned to the big and small screens with a vengeance. And even though I detest all things Twilight, I have to say a silent thank you to the fandemonium that reignited our love for all things vampires.

However, the return of the fangs has not been easy for everyone, especially us TV addicts. First, there were the True Blood vampires, and then came The Vampire Diaries brood, a whole different set of vampires, and this Summer, there are these new vampires in TV Land courtesy of ABC’s The Gates. How are they different from each other? How do we tell them apart? Which show should we devote our heart and soul to?

Luckily for you, I have nothing better to do today so I can devote an hour of my time to help you choose your TV vampires. And here they are, in alphabetical order:

1. True Blood, airs on Sunday at 9 PM on HBO.

“You’re going to invite me in so I can protect you. Or have passionate, primal sex with you. Or how about both?” – Eric Northman, True Blood.

Trademarks: Nocturnal, sleeps during the day in coffin/hidey hole/room with no windows, burns in sunlight, is generally sexy and looks really good naked, especially one Eric Northman, some can be quite violent, most don’t really have a conscience. Most have really pale skin, and they live on blood and blood alone, whether it’s real human blood or the synthetic “Tru Blood”. Oh and they also possess “super-speed” and the aforementioned Eric Northman has shown the ability to fly (or at least jump really high). They also can’t get intoxicated or high, which would be a little depressing after they’ve lived for 2,000 years, and could drive them into committing suicide – or what passes as “suicide” in the vampire world. One last thing: if you’ve had their blood, you’re most definitely going to have vivid sex dreams about them, which is totally fine because not only are they generally sexy, apparently they’re also REALLY good in bed.

They usually fall for… blonde waitresses who can read minds. But that’s understandable considering even Snoop Dogg wrote a song about her.

Area of Residence: Louisiana, Mississippi, Texas… mostly in the South.

Enemies: Over-zealous ministers and members of The Fellowship of The Sun churches, Nazi-lovin’ werewolves and sometimes their own kind.

Lovers: Mostly the citizens of Bon Temps, like Sookie Stackhouse, Hoyt Fortenberry and most recently, Tara Thornton. But they have devoted groupies or “Fangbangers” following them around most of the time, from all corners of the world (including one former Playmate from Estonia).

The Good: They’re so much fun to watch!

The Bad: The women vampires, in exception of Pam and baby Vamp Jessica, are generally annoying.

The Ugly: Their politics are messy and “mid-evil”, and they’re also usually very possessive (see “Soo-keh iz Mine!”), which means you really can’t mess around with them.

2. The Gates, airs on Sunday at 10 PM on ABC.

“You did this to me – you made me who I am!” – Claire Radcliffe, The Gates.

Trademarks: Since there are only two episodes of this show so far, and since The Radcliffes (Dylan and Claire) seem to be the only vampires in this gated community, I know very little about them. However, they seem to not be so nocturnal, in the sense that they sleep at night and roam around in daylight for reasons that haven’t been explained. Well, the roaming around in daylight was sort of explained by them lathering on some magical sunscreen lotion in the pilot episode, actually. They look and act like normal people, but like the True Blood vampires, they also possess super-speed and can sort-of fly. Unlike the True Blood vampires however, they like to play house and they also raise a human little girl together. They drink blood, supplied by Dylan Radcliffe’s Biotech Research firm, but sometimes the wife, Claire, slips up and drains a random human that happens to ram his truck into their mailbox. Oh, and they’re British which makes them sexy by default (you gotta love the accent).

They usually fall for… little human girls, but not in that creepy pedophile vampire way, more in the parental way. In the two episodes I’ve seen, it’s apparent that Dylan and Claire Radcliffe try to tame their vampire ways so their adopted human daughter will not be taken away from them.

Area of Residence: A Desperate Housewife-esque gated community somewhere in America.

Enemies: So far, Claire has been blackmailed by a witch named Devon, who runs a day-spa and makes herbal teas, and the Chief of Police has been sniffing around.

Lovers: One doctor/witch who seems to be supplying them with the magical sunscreen lotion and the clueless neighbor, who happens to be the new Chief of Police’s wife.

The Good: Luke Mably, who plays Dylan Radcliffe, is super hot and British.

The Bad: Not sure how I feel about the walking around in daylight thing…

The Ugly: This couple is a little depressing for a vampire couple. And depressing vampires are not that fun to watch.

3. Vampire Diaries, on hiatus, but will return on Sept 9 at 8 PM on The CW.

“I do believe in killing the messenger. Know why? It sends a message.” – Damon Salvatore, Vampire Diaries.

Trademarks: They don’t really sleep, but they can’t walk around in daylight either, unless the special few who wear the special and magical lapis lazuli rings on their fingers. They also possess super-speed and strength, but the strength and speed all depend on the blood they drink. In other words, to be a strong vampire you gotta drink human blood, and a lot of it. They’re mostly violent, devoid of conscience and sexy, but there are one or two, like Stefan Salvatore, who’s not so fun and a little depressing because he grew a conscience and lamented his non-human state. Oh and they can drink and get really, super drunk too. They’re not that pale, but pale enough, and if you’re killed after ingesting their blood, you’ll wake up a vampire like them. Which makes turning into one pretty damn easy, if you ask me. Oh and there’s this super high-pitch frequency that incapacitate them and if you burn them, they’ll surely die.

They usually fall for… Beautiful brunettes who are the spitting image of the evil vampire they fell for a hundred years ago when they were still humans.

Area of Residence: Mystic Falls, Virginia and the surrounding areas, it seems.

Enemies: The founding members of Mystic Falls, and their subsequent offspring, also, their own kind.

Lovers: The adopted daughter of The Gilbert Family, one of the founding families, and the son of the Gilbert family as well. Actually, almost everyone in the Gilbert Family has had some love affair with vampires. Oh, and random fangbangers here and there, as well as a few generation of witches. But they’re not really lovers, they’re just indebted to the vampires.

The Good: It’s a great alternative to True Blood in the Fall, because it has enough sex and violence to tide us over until Summer rolls around again.

The Bad: It’s in The CW, so even though it’s violent and sexy enough for their target demo, it’s not as much fun as True Blood.

The Ugly: The fans are rabid, much like Twilight fans, thus making it embarrassing to admit that we actually like and watch this show.

So who are your choice of vampires?

xoxo

Binky Bee

Weeds Finale: Shane, “You badass motherfucker!”

If you haven’t seen the season finale of Weeds yet, please don’t continue reading this post because what I’m discussing here is a major spoiler and you’ll hate me forever for ruining the last few minutes (seconds, really) of the finale for you. But if you have, then I’m sure you probably have the same reaction as I did when the scene unfolded before your eyes.

My reaction was, “HOLY SHIT!”

Now, you have to understand that I live in a third-world country and I have no access to this show except through this great 21st century invention called “bittorrent” which basically allows me to watch the shows America is watching within a few hours to a day after it aired (depending on how fast it would download). And because the show was downloaded to my computer, I have to watch it on my computer (I’m way too lazy to convert it and burn it to a DVD, I’m not a pirate – yet!). So basically, I watched it while sitting behind my work desk (good thing I work from home), with headphones plugged in my ears and when I saw Shane clubbing Pilar in the head with (this makes me chuckle all the time) a croquet mallet. Suffice to say, when I shouted, “HOLY SHIT!”, my maid who was cleaning my house at the time, turned to me with a look that says, “Great. She’s talking to the screen again.”

But seriously, how good was that finale? And how much do we LOVE Shane Botwin this season?

For the last four seasons, despite Shane Botwin’s peculiar behaviors (talking to his dead father, uhm “entertaining himself” with a naked picture of his mother, losing his virginity in a threesome with his two classmates) and penchant for violence (shooting a mountain lion with a BB gun in season 1, biting his opponent’s foot in a karate match, beheading a little girl in a homemade terrorism video), we never thought Shane Botwin would actually snap, or as Silas puts it, “Going off the deep end”. But he did, and it was in the most awesome way possible.

I’m not condoning teenage violence of course, but seriously, that bitch had it coming. Let’s not forget that she was the one who ordered a hit on his mother, a hit that ended up putting a bullet in his arm. And just before Shane picked up the croquet mullet, Pilar was telling Nancy how she was going to have Nancy’s “extraneous” kids killed (and yes, that included him too). I would club to death anyone who dares to say shit like that to my mother.

Like Silas said to Shane when he pulled a knife on Adelita’s snooty heroin-addicted friends, Shane has really grown into a total badass motherfucker this season. And he didn’t even look horrified after Pilar fell to the pool and the blood just drifted away from her scheme-filled noggin like runny watercolor. He was still the cool, placid Shane, who got his older brother all worried when he stated blandly that he liked the pain of his gunshot wound, it made him feel in control. Total badass and absolutely creepy, which is the way we like it.

I think this season we really saw a big shift in characters. From seasons 1-4, Silas was always the troublemaker in the family. He got his girlfriend pregnant just so she wouldn’t go away to college, he got into the “family business” of selling (and later on, growing) pot, he had an affair with a cougar after they relocated to Ren Mar, among other things, but in Season 5, he has grown up and actually become the ‘adult’ in the family. He had a legitimate medical marijuana business (and if he hadn’t partnered with the lovable doofus Doug, it would probably still thrive), he refused an all-expense paid trip to Amsterdam aka the weed capital of the world to take care of his teetering-on-the-edge brother and let’s not forget his chivalrous act in taking care of drug-addled Adelita.

I kinda like this shift in characters, and I think this is the recipe that will get the viewers hooked and wait impatiently for the sixth (and possibly) final season. I have to admit, even though I still laugh my ass off at Doug and Celia’s antics, this season wasn’t as strong as the previous four. But with Shane suddenly blossoming into a creepy cold-blooded teenage killer/badass – my faith in the show is restored. I can’t wait until season 6 starts and we can see how Nancy wiggles her way out of this predicament and save Shane in the process.

So here’s to you, Shane Botwin. Thanks for being the badass motherfucker that you are, and making Weeds the most entertaining half hour show this summer.

What did you think of the finale?